Allyship: walking alongside, not past

As the days get longer and many of us spend more time out and about, it’s a good moment to reflect on the idea of walking. After speaking with Abri colleague Nicole, a Community Investment Officer, about an allyship session she recently attended, the idea of walking took on a different shape.

Recalling the session, Nicole described allyship as walking alongside others, and the phrase resonated. It made us think less about distance, and more about presence: who we choose to keep pace with, who we notice, and whether we’re willing to slow down instead of walking past when something isn’t right.

Because for people who experience racism, discrimination or hostility, harm isn’t always loud or singular or something so extreme it stops everyone else in their tracks. More often, it’s cumulative, built from everyday comments, assumptions, jokes and silences that are sometimes dismissed in isolation. Carrying that day after day is exhausting. And what can shift it isn’t perfect wording or having a ready-made script. It’s someone clocking what’s happening, stepping closer, and staying there.

Small interactions like these quietly shape whether people feel safe, valued and able to belong in their workplaces and neighbourhoods.

Creating space for conversation

That was the context Nicole brought with her when she joined around a dozen colleagues for an in‑person allyship training session at our Eastleigh office, facilitated by Chikere Igbokwe from Inclusive.

The session made room for the conversations that aren’t always easy: everyday behaviour, bias, privilege and the shared responsibility that comes with all of it. It wasn’t always comfortable. It was honest. And it was practical, constantly returning to what allyship looks like in real moments, with real people.

Why allyship matters

For Nicole, the session sharpened something she’s felt for a long time: allyship isn’t a label, it’s a choice, repeated.

“I’m always interested in having open and honest conversations, even when it can sometimes feel uncomfortable. I feel that allyship is particularly important for Abri to embed in its culture as allyship shifts narratives, challenges harmful stereotypes and affirms dignity by choosing to stand up and speak out, alongside empowering people to take charge of their own learning, or use their privilege to create positive change. 

Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected and opening up those conversations about micro racism, microaggressions, and privilege is the first step.”

One of the biggest takeaways was how easy it is to underestimate “small” moments - and how powerful it feels when someone else refuses to let them pass.

“Putting yourself in the shoes of a marginalised person and how exhausting dealing with microaggressions may be, sometimes on a daily basis, then that feeling of the weight of that being lifted when someone speaks up on your behalf calling out comments, behaviours, patterns that aren't right.”

Nicole is clear: allyship can’t sit with one team - or with the people already carrying the impact. It has to be part of the culture, not an add-on.

“Within Community Investment, we are consistently advocating for residents and communities who are marginalised or disadvantaged, but I wanted this to be something that as a business, we also do for staff and have always felt very strongly on this. 

Allyship is a lifelong commitment to amplifying voices that are silenced, or do not feel safe enough to speak up. I think if we have the power to educate, listen and champion inclusivity we should be doing that.”

What happens within our organisations shapes how we show up in our communities — and whether people trust us to create neighbourhoods where everyone feels they belong. This shows up in different ways - from the conversations we’re having, to the commitments we’re making. For example, we’ve signed the LGBTQ+ Housing Pledge, an important step that reaffirms our commitment to improving LGBTQ+ inclusion and ensuring everything we do respects identity and contributes to a safer, more welcoming community for everyone.

Learning as you go

She also came back to something that matters in any kind of inclusion work: humility.

“Awareness that we sometimes get things wrong, but a simple “I’m learning, I'd like to understand” and self reflecting on your own privilege (the benefits or favour you have simply by belonging to a dominant social group) and how you can use this to support and influence positive change for people not in your position.”

Walking it into practice

So what does allyship look like on an ordinary day in an office, in a meeting, in a casual conversation? Nicole kept it grounded:

“Listening. Speaking up. Educating. Challenging ‘jokes’ and stereotypes, active listening to create safe spaces, and educating yourself so you can challenge for yourself or on behalf of others when something isn’t right.”

None of these are grand gestures. They’re small, deliberate decisions, moments where someone chooses not to keep moving, but to pause and stand beside someone instead. Over time, those moments shape how safe, respected and connected people feel in the places they live and work.

And if something isn’t right, standing alongside someone doesn’t mean handling it alone. If something feels wrong, it’s important its acknowledged and addressed.

Going for a walk? 

If you’re clocking up the steps this summer, a good listen can be an easy way to keep learning while you’re at it. Here are five allyship listens we’d recommend:

1. The Diverse Minds Podcast
   Focuses on race equality and wellbeing in a busy, modern world. Using real stories, interviews and case studies, it creates space to reflect on lived experience and how inclusion shows up — or doesn’t — in everyday life.
2. Allyship in Action (with Julie Kratz)
   Looks closely at what allyship means in practice, particularly in workplace settings. It moves beyond good intentions, encouraging learning, accountability and small, meaningful actions in day‑to‑day situations.
3. The Guilty Feminist
   A thoughtful and often disarming exploration of gender, inequality and everyday contradictions. Through personal stories and honest conversation, it looks at how sexism shows up in ordinary moments — encouraging reflection without requiring perfection.
4. The Anti Racist Listening Project
   A UK‑based podcast rooted in lived experience. It offers honest, thoughtful conversations about racism and allyship, asking listeners to slow down, listen carefully and reflect on their own role and responsibility.
5. Talking to Strangers (audiobook)
   A more reflective listen that explores how misunderstanding, assumptions and bias shape our interactions. Through storytelling and research, it invites listeners to question what they notice, how they interpret situations, and what it means to really listen.

Listening is one of the simplest ways to build understanding. Like allyship itself, it’s something you do as you go - by staying open, paying attention, and choosing to walk alongside others rather than past them. Each small action contributes to creating workplaces and communities where people feel seen, supported and able to belong.