When did you last hear someone say that they stay in a bad relationship ‘for the sake of’ the kids? Or because they want their children to ‘have a relationship’ with a parent?
How many times have you walked away from those conversations with a feeling that it isn’t in the best interest of the children?
We already know that domestic abuse isn’t all about bruises. We also know that it doesn’t always take place with a male perpetrator, a female victim, or in an intimate relationship. Increasingly, we recognise that abuse is about the exercise of ‘coercive control’ where a victim is manipulated into a position where they live in constant fear of how a perpetrator might behave toward them. When that fear extends to the harm that might befall children, it becomes a frighteningly powerful tool for an abuser.
Between Monday 3 and Sunday 9 February, it is Children’s Mental Health Week. Thousands of children live in our properties so it’s important to consider what we are doing, as a Community Safety team and wider organisation, to safeguard the mental health of the young people in our communities.
Many of the Community Safety team visit customers who make disclosures of domestic abuse. Often, those disclosures are that one of the people involved is suffering a form of coercive control by an intimate partner.
But how many of those people have children too?
Research by Women’s Aid tells us that:
- At least one in seven under-18s will have lived with domestic abuse at some point in their childhood;
- 61.7% of women surveyed in refuges in 2017 had children under the age of 18 with them;
- Out of a sample of 216 child contact cases recorded by Cafcass, more than two thirds involved allegations of domestic abuse.
There are a whole range of consequences associated with experiencing domestic abuse as a child, ranging from low self-esteem to serious mental health or behavioural problems.
So how can we help?
One of the most important responsibilities for any professional, whatever the role, is safeguarding customers. More importantly, safeguarding young people who might not be able to speak for themselves.
Every day the Community Safety team work with customers to talk about their personal life and visit their home. A lot of people suffering from any form of abuse do not immediately recognise it is happening, despite the possible impact on young family members. By visiting and supporting our vulnerable customers regularly, we can raise the alarm if necessary.
While reflecting on the importance of supporting children’s mental health, we should be ever vigilant to the warning signs of domestic abuse. Our colleagues do this essential work every day, flagging concerns to the Community Safety team, raising See Something Say Something reports, and referring cases directly into social care. To commit fully to ‘doing it for the kids’ we need to keep up this great collaborative work. By doing this, together we can be the difference for those children and help to keep them safe.
Find out more about the signs of domestic abuse here.
If you have questions, contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Community Safety Officer